A Pirate Walks Into A Bar

The bartender notices his leg, “How did you get that peg-leg?”

The pirate replies, “It were many years ago

 I were walkin' on the deck when a wave swept a shark aboard

 The shark bit me leg off!”

“Wow,” replies the bartender

 “What about that hand?”

“It were many years ago

 I were walkin' on the deck when a wave swept a killer whale aboard

 The whale bit my hand off!”

“Oh,” replies the bartender

 “How about the eye?”

The pirate replies, “It were many years ago

 I were walkin' on the deck when a seagull came outta nowhere and pooped in my eye.”

“And that blinded you?” asked the bartender.

“No, twas me first day with the hook.”