Broom And A Carrot

Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line.

When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns

The man issuing rifles gave him a broom, “This is a magic broom – point it at anybody, say ‘Bangity, bangity, bang,' and they will die.”

Bob was really worried because he didn't think it would work, but he got in line for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could stab them to death.

As luck would have it, Bob's turn came and they had ran out

“Don't worry,” said the man issuing them out

“I will give you this magic carrot – point it at somebody, say ‘Stabbity, stabbity stab,' and they will die.”

Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling invasion

Bob goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy.

One enemy even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him

Well, Bob didn't have anything to lose so he pointed at him and said “Bangity, bangity, bang!” and the guy fell down dead

He did the same thing with the magic carrot.

Amazed at what was happening, he continued to fight

Then, a guy came slowly up to him and he would not die.

Bob tried to shoot and stab him, but he wouldn't die

The last words poor Bob heard as he was being trampled over were “Tankity, tankity, tank.”